


make it right (alright)

by kedavrakiwi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: -ish?, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Drunkenness, Erik is a Little Shit, Everyone's in this fic don't ask me why, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Genius Study Group, Introspection, Jealous Steve, Light Angst, Loki is helping by NOT helping, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Rejection, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers bisexual awakening, Steve Rogers-centric, This Is STUPID, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Why Did I Write This?, purely self-indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25723057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kedavrakiwi/pseuds/kedavrakiwi
Summary: Steve never thought his best friend would have romantic feelings for him.His whole world changed one fine Wednesday when Tony asked him out. Obviously, Steve turned him down.After all, he was straight as an arrow, right?Well….ahem.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Tony Stark, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers - Relationship, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 12
Kudos: 185





	make it right (alright)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: this is not beta-read and completely self indulgent. Read at your own risk!

When Steve Rogers woke up at 7am this morning, he firmly believed it was like any other Wednesday. 

He banged on Bucky’s door to wake him up then went through his normal morning routine, shower, clothes then food and he banged twice more on his lazy dumbass of a roommate’s door again because obviously he was still sleeping and he hollered loudly warning him about being late. 

He then walked to the little coffee shop near the college campus and got his usual coffee order along with a tall black sludge of a coffee for Tony, his other best friend who had probably stayed up all night again for one of his robotics projects. 

There was no reason whatsoever that would make him question why this day was any different, but here he was, stunned frozen staring at Tony while he stammered out a confession that didn’t make much sense to the buzzing in Steve’s head.

Tony was fidgeting from foot to foot and still babbling “I mean I’m sure you’re straight and all that but Pepper won’t let me _not_ ask you, I mean I guess it makes sense? Because then I would be sure, I just- well- um so yeah I like you and wanted to ask if you’d like to go on a date with me?”

He ended with a questioning tone as if he wasn’t even sure of what he was talking about and was looking for a confirmation from Steve, who at this very moment was still gaping at Tony in shock and reeling from what he just heard. 

Tony was looking at him expectantly, clearly nervous as if waiting for an answer and that jolted Steve out of his shocked silence.

“Well, I-um- I- Tony, I’m straight”  
The little bright spark in Tony’s eyes flickered and he smiled a little sadly, “well, that’s what I told Pep too and I- well”

He fidgeted again and it was so unusual for Tony to be speechless or out of words that the whole wrongness of the situation made Steve scramble to do something to fix it.

“I mean you’re obviously my best friend and I love you but I don’t like you like that?” He rushed out to say.

And now Steve was the one sounding unsure of himself, he wanted to bash his head on the nearest surface because wasn’t he supposed to sound firm about his feelings or apparent lack thereof when rejecting someone, especially if that someone was your best friend. 

He had never been good with this kind of thing, he had always been awkward and as subtle as a bull in a china shop and he was panicking a little.

Tony, clearly picking up on his distress because he knew Steve too well to not see through him, snorted a little. It made Steve relax a little too, because if Tony was still laughing at his awkwardness then maybe it wasn’t too bad?

“It’s okay Steve, it’s fine. I know all that honestly but I guess this was to have that confirmed because Pepper has been hounding me about communication and not assuming things. Thank you for being honest with me, Steve” Tony said with kind clear brown eyes and he was relaxed while Steve was stiff, coiled with tension at the unusualness of their conversation.

“And also for not punching me in the face” he laughed a little and Steve was instantly offended.

“why would I do that? Tony, I would never do that! Why did you even think-”

“Hey, whoa whoa, calm down. it was a joke Steve. Of course, I knew you wouldn’t do that” Tony hurriedly said with hands out in a placating gesture.

And Steve deflated, he wanted to punch himself instead because here Tony was getting rejected, but was still the one doing the comforting.

“Are we- um- are we okay?” he asked Tony tentatively, terrified to even think that this would ruin one of the best friendships he’s had since joining college or even since meeting Bucky as a kid. 

And Tony smiled at him, soft and fond, it was the private little smile that Tony always gave him when he thought Steve was being stupidly kind or selfless, it never fail to light Steve up from the inside with happiness at having that kind of private expression from Tony who was all smoke and mirrors with other people.

“Of course, we are! you big lug” he laughed and then stopped to think for a second, his smile dimmed a little and Steve mourned the loss of it, “but I’d probably need some time to myself for a while and not see you for a bit”

Steve’s heart dropped to his stomach “Oh”

“Not because of you” Tony hurriedly add, “but I think a little bit of space would help me and will probably be healthy and better for our friendship” he said as if quoting from some book or someone else, probably his therapist or Pepper. She had been insisting on a healthy lifestyle and therapy for Tony after he had a breakdown last year.

Steve was absolutely behind that idea because even though they weren’t close at the time and he wasn’t there for it, he knew it was bad, but Tony had been improving a lot in communicating what he wanted and even his feelings.

“Okay Tony, I understand” he tried not to sound as dejected as he felt. 

Spending time with Tony had always been the highlight of his day and the thought of not being able to be there for one of Tony’s mad spiel rant on some AI he was working on, and not having the constant chatter and energy with him while he ate his lunch or was working on one of his art assignments sat heavily on his heart.

“Thank you Steve, I mean it really, thank you” he sounded genuine and fragile and all Steve wanted to do was gather him up in the fiercest hug possible but he wasn’t sure if that would be crossing a boundary just after what Tony had confessed to him, so he slipped his hands into his jeans pocket to stop himself

“It’s okay” he reminded Tony who just smiled and started to walk away.

“Oh and thank you for the coffee!” Tony called back with a warm smile and disappeared into the research building.

Steve’s shoulder slumped and he felt like a deflated balloon. He felt even more upset than Tony and that doesn’t even make sense because he wasn’t the one getting rejected by one of his closest friends. He just hoped this won’t affect their friendship or cause him to second guess himself with every interaction he had with the younger man.  


Steve went through his classes in a daze, not absorbing a single information from the lectures and just passing through all his morning classes with only one thing on his mind: Tony.

He tried figuring out when Tony may have started developing romantic feelings for him but he just couldn’t pin down any interaction, everything was normal and happy between them. 

He knew Tony was out and proud bisexual, had always known even before they were friends and hated each other’s guts. He knew Tony had an older boyfriend who did a number on his emotional well-being but Tony had never actually dated anyone after that.

Sure, he flirted around but he was never really serious, he flirted with everyone, even the vending machine sometimes. It was amusing to watch most of the time and that was Tony just being Tony, Steve never thought twice about it even when Tony flirted with him. 

Now he was beginning to wonder if there were a difference. 

_No_.

That was dangerous territory and Steve was not supposed to be doing an analysis of his friendship with Tony just because of this and cheapen it to some plan concocted by Tony to get into his pants. 

Tony would _never_ do that and Steve was being a complete idiot about this.

Tony didn’t show up at lunch. No one acted weirdly about that, everyone just nodded and accepted Pepper’s explanation that Tony was meeting with Professor Yinsen about one of his AI projects and would be busy for a few days, probably. 

Clint was, as usual, complaining about Natasha stealing his leftovers this morning while Sam and Bucky were making fun of how he’d never complain to Natasha’s face while Clint vehemently protested.  
Which only made the whole thing funnier when Natasha showed up to their usual table and Clint promptly shut up. Everything was completely normal.

There was a weird moment when Pepper eyed him a little strangely, as if studying him, but that was only for a few seconds.

Everything was perfectly normal…except it wasn’t, not for Steve. 

He could hardly think about anything else that was not Tony. Even when he was talking to one of his friends, one thing they say or do would remind him of Tony which would inevitably lead him to space out of the conversation.  
Bucky complained about it and looked at him weirdly till he made an excuse about not getting enough sleep last night due to his art history assignment which Bucky thankfully accepted as a proper excuse and got off his back about his behaviour. 

Everyone left for their respective classes while Steve sat, unsure of how to proceed with his usual routine today. Unlike the others, he didn’t have afternoon classes on Wednesdays. 

It was usually his favourite day of the week because he got to spend his afternoon in Tony’s lab and watch him work on something overly complicated that would completely go over his head while Tony alternated between talking to Steve about anything and everything and talking _at_ Steve about his algorithms and codes.  
It was the rare day when their class schedules coordinate and they get to hang out just the two of them. 

Steve would draw or get started on his assignments and he was usually the most productive when he was hanging out in Tony’s lab.  
But today he decided to go home with a heavy heart, Tony’s request for space from Steve sitting heavily on his shoulders. 

Steve went back to the dorm, returning greetings here and there, not really seeing who they were and not stopping for any conversation along the way. He didn’t know why the confession shocked him so much, wait scratch that, he knew why he was shocked, he just didn’t know why he was so affected by it. 

Tony had been fine, almost nonchalant about it too and he didn’t look affected much when he left. But Steve, if possible, was still reeling with the new information. 

He ran up the dorm stairs to his room, which was thankfully on the second floor this year and not the crappy fifth floor room he once shared with Bucky and Sam, but a much bigger and better one he now shared with only Bucky after Scott Lang graduated and reserved it for them.

He slammed his room door with a bit of unnecessary force and lied face down on the bed before even taking off his shoes. He felt completely drained by the day, which was funny because it was his most relaxing day of the week, usually.

 _But those days didn’t have confusing feelings about Tony,_ he thought morosely to himself and groaned. This was going nowhere. He didn’t even try to start on his art projects because he was never going to do a good job with his head like this.  
He thought about running on the college track to clear his head but he didn’t want to see other people and interact with them so he brooded in his room.

He thought about his last girlfriend Peggy, who he had fallen fast and hard for in high school and dated on his senior year. After dating for a few months, he realized that he had built up the relationship so much in his head while he was pining after her that it wasn’t nearly as perfect as he thought it would be. 

They had fights about things they never argue about when they were friends but it was still the best relationship Steve had ever had with anyone. 

They broke up right before he started college, Peggy was a fierce girl who always knew what she wanted, she had her whole career and life planned out and she really didn’t see herself settling down, so they had broken it off amicably.

Peggy joined the army right out of high school and they still talk, sometimes they write to each other and she was still one of the most important people in Steve’s life.

He had never really dated anyone after that, he went out with Billie, a girl from her Art history class on a date once in his first year, Natasha’s matchmaking was relentless when she thought you needed a date.  
It was during the time he and Tony still had their weird competitive rivalry going on and glared at each other every chance they got, so he had agreed to go on the date just to make Natasha stop. 

Going on a date with Billie was fine to an extent but neither of them were interested in anything more and now they just greet each other in the hallways or in class when they see each other. 

Apart from that, he was wholly content with the life he had now, with his friends taking up every bit of free time he had and he honestly preferred it that way, at least for now, he wasn’t really interested in trying to get to know new people to date.

And he had always thought Tony felt the same way about that too.

And that led him right back to thinking about Tony.  
He was mostly confused, he didn’t have any problem with the thought of Tony dating other men, he wasn’t a bigot, _obviously_. But he was struggling to picture Tony with anyone he knew except the garbage excuse of a human being that was Tiberius Stone. 

He hadn't been there to witness anything about that relationship but he knew it was bad and that Tony was really hurt by it, he would’ve kicked Stone’s ass if he hadn’t dropped out of college, just the thought of him near Tony made his blood boil. 

He had always been protective of Tony even more than his other friends. He had chalked it up to him being the youngest among them- two years younger than most of them, and the reckless spitfire that Tony was, he had a supernatural knack of getting into trouble that was really bad for Steve’s heart.

He knew Tony’s family didn’t really care about his sexuality as long as he didn’t get himself into public scandals, that would be a media spectacle with his family owning one of the biggest weapon’s manufacturing company in the world.

Tony rarely ever talk about his family except to Pepper and Rhodey, both of whom had known him for much longer. But the little that he shared had always been with Steve.

Steve heaved a sigh, he rolled over the bed and took out his sketch book from his bedside drawer, maybe a little rough sketching will clear his mind.

As he mindlessly sketched what should be his little Brooklyn neighbourhood back home he thought about how he had never actually questioned his sexuality.

He grew up in a small poor neighbourhood where everyone practically knew everyone. It was a warm close-knit community but was also a breeding ground for gossips which he never much paid attention to.  
There was one time when a lesbian couple had moved in below their apartment and the little old ladies were properly appalled and scandalized.

But no one gave them grief about it, they were the nicest couple too and Steve and Bucky still sing praises about their homemade cakes every chance they get.

That was the extent of exposure Steve got of same sex relationship. It was in high school that he realised that there were also people who liked both after he met Carol, he took all that in stride and was never bothered by it.

As an artist, he’d always appreciate beauty in every form, be it a beautiful woman, scenery or even beautiful men and he never thought twice about it. 

He knew Tony was one of the most beautiful person he had ever met, from the lush brown curls that usually go everywhere if Tony ran his hand through it enough times, to the expressive clear brown eyes that’d would light up and sparkle mischievously and turned amber under the sunlight.

The plush lips that he had a habit of biting raw and red while he was deep in the zone of his engineering work to the little smattering of freckles on his nose and cheek that one can see only if you stand close enough and paid attention. 

His beautiful callused but elegant hands that were always in constant motion when he was talking or working or listening. Tony was a whirlwind of chaos and beauty one can’t help but orbit around as if he were the sun, and Steve had drawn Tony many many times when he was hanging out in his lab, helplessly drawn to his magnifying chaos.

He then thought about other beautiful people who had intrigued his artistic side, there was Peggy of course because she was an absolute beauty, and Bernie who he had a little crush on, she always looked ethereal in her glassblowing workshop in high school. And Emily, a theater student who played the most compelling character of Shakespeare’s Portia. 

Then there was Ben, also a theater student who was just so shiny and put together that Steve can’t help but admire and draw. There had also been Adam who was in the football team and refused to join in when his teammates bully people and often get into fights to defend someone, and Steve still being a bag of bones then had admired him so much that he put his admiration into sketches.  
There were probably a few more that just appealed to him but those were the prominent ones that immediately came to his mind.

The more he thought about it that way, the more his confusion grew. Bucky had endlessly teased him about his crush on Peggy and Bernie and even Emily at one point, he didn’t know if those were also him admiring aesthetics or him having a crush on the people themselves, even just a bit. 

He imagined kissing all of them one by one and was surprised to find that he wasn’t bothered at all by the thought of kissing Ben or Adam, he was in fact quite the opposite of bothered and it wasn’t any different from Bernie or Emily. Peggy was a bit different because he loved her and had experienced the kissings first hand.

He paused his sketchings and thought _Huh_.

He finally imagined himself kissing Tony and his lips tingled with just the thought of having those plush red-bitten lips touching his. It felt electrified even in his imagination.

 _Huh_.

_BANG!_

Steve jumped at the sudden noise and was rudely startled out of his musings. Bucky was banging on his room door with “Stevieeeee!!”

What the hell, he didn’t even realise four hours had gone by and forgot all about his plans to hang out with Bucky, Clint and Sam.

He yelled back at Bucky to shut the hell up and began quickly pulling off his shirt and putting on his sweatshirt instead, they were going to Benny’s to watch baseball and he did not want Bucky or Clint spilling pub drinks on his good shirt.

Steve was a much better company in the evening compared to his fumbling conversations during lunch and he was enjoying hanging out with his rowdy bunch. They were getting progressively drunker and by default louder because Bucky and Clint were arguing about their teams again and Steve grinned fondly at the two idiots.

Even though he was as loyal to the Dodgers as Bucky was, he knew better than to pick a fight over it with a drunk Clint. He turned down Clint’s offer to get him another drink, he didn’t want to wake up with a terrible hangover tomorrow after all.

He turned to Sam who was rolling his eyes at their two friends antics and occasionally telling them to “Keep it down! you morons, your teams aren’t even playing tonight”.

Sam sensing Steve eyeing him looked back with a raised brow and Steve shook his head fondly. After another hour of bickering loudly, Clint had slowly migrated to the other group of friends that seemed to be agreeing with him while Bucky complained loudly, trying to rope in Steve several times. He grumbled as he went to the bar to get more drinks.

Sam turned to him again then and raised one eyebrow (Steve had always been jealous that Sam and Tony were able to do that so easily, If he tried he’d just raise both his eyebrows and look like an idiot).

“What?”

“Nothing, you’ve been oddly quiet tonight. Thought you’d finally join in after Dumbo asked for backup the seventh time” his tone was casual, too casual. 

Steve narrowed his eyes, “Well, maybe I’m just tired”

“Maybe, but what do you have to be tired about? Heard you didn’t even hang out with Tony today”

Steve almost winced, almost. “Yeah well, we don’t always hang out you know”

Sam gave him a dubious look that told him he didn’t believe him even for a second. Steve sighed and looked around. Clint was now enthusiastically playing darts with his new friends while Bucky was flirting with the pretty blonde bartender. Steve snorted, Natasha was going to have Bucky by the balls tomorrow. She had an eerie way of knowing whenever he was fucking around, Steve honestly didn’t understand their relationship. 

They weren’t dating but they had a weird friends with benefits thing going on but it was only likely a matter of time before it turned much more serious because Bucky was completely ass over kettle over Natasha even though he was an incorrigible flirt.

He sighed again and turned to Sam who was looking at him expectantly, “I think I might be bisexual” he blurted out. 

His heart hammered a little in his chest with trepidation of finally saying it out loud.

Sam just rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah and the sky is blue”

Steve’s eyes bugged out and he gaped in shock. What was that supposed to mean? Sam took a chug of his beer and looked back at Steve and promptly began to choke on seeing Steve’s gobsmacked expression.  
He spluttered and coughed and Steve almost left him to choke but thought better of it and smacked at Sam’s back, with more force than necessary.

“Okay, I’m okay” Sam spluttered while pushing his hands away, “Wait, you didn’t know?” 

Steve shook his head.

“Geez! You honest to god just realised you’re bisexual?” Sam questioned disbelievingly.

“Yes, maybe” Steve replied unimpressed while staring impassively at Sam.

“Holy shit! Wait, okay wait. When?” 

“Today? Well, um right before coming here actually” Steve mumbled.

“Okay that’s fine Steve” Sam said neutrally without any hint of judgement in his tone and Steve felt relief coursing through him. But he still had a question.

“What was that reaction when I first said it?” he demanded grumpily. 

Sam grinned sheepishly, “I thought you knew that already and was just pulling my leg. Honestly Steve-o, I’m more shocked that you haven’t realised it. But thank you for telling me” He said with genuine warmth in his tone. 

“But how did you know I’m bisexual when _I’m_ still not even sure I am!” he exclaimed with confused indignation just as Bucky sat down with his new drink.

Before Sam had the chance to answer Bucky butt in “Why are we talking about Steve’s bisexuality?” he was obnoxiously munching on a candy he pilfered from the counter. 

“Because he just realised he is” Sam deadpanned while Steve made an offended noise and mumbled “Not for sure”.

Bucky groaned, “Stevie, you had a crush the size of a freaking continent on Adam Jefferson in high school before you moved on to Peggy Carter”

Steve, for the third time in twenty-four hours, was again in complete shock. He gaped at Bucky and then spluttered “I looked up to him! It was admiration” he insisted even though he already knew it had probably been more than that.

“Yeah that’s why you filled your sketch books with drawings of him for two whole months”

“It was aesthetic admiration!” Steve shouted indignantly. 

Bucky groaned longer and thumped his head on the sticky surface of the table. Both Steve and Sam wrinkled their nose in distaste.

Before Bucky could come up with any response Sam said, “You know it’s completely fine if you are or aren’t bisexual Steve. None of us are gonna look at you any different. It would be completely hypocritical for most of us too”

Bucky perked up and looked at Steve sheepishly “Yeah sorry Stevie, you just go on and figure it out in your own pace” He patted Steve’s back fondly and turned to where Clint was and hollered a challenge. Just like that he was stumbling away and Steve loved them so much for not making a big deal out of this. 

He was grinning from ear to ear, feeling so much better after talking to them. Maybe he’d drink a little more, he just loved his friends _so_ much.

✪✪✪ ✪✪✪ ✪✪✪

By Friday night Steve Rogers was eighty percent sure that he was into men as much as he was into women, he had been constantly thinking about it since his epiphany on Wednesday. 

He had woken up with the mother of all hangovers on Thursday, drinking more because he was happy had definitely not been a good idea and he could barely function with the massive headache he had woken up with. He had sworn off drinking with Bucky vehemently agreeing.

To top off the worst day ever, he didn’t see Tony all day and didn’t even get texts from him, not even the weird cat memes that he loved to send at random times of the day.  
He missed Tony like a missing limb, he truly didn’t know he had become so dependent on his interactions with the younger man and now being deliberately deprived of that was a very rude and painful awakening.

He had also decided to not tell Tony yet about his possible bisexuality. He didn’t want to give Tony hope just for it to be crushed if he was just exploring and realised he was in fact straight after all. He didn’t want Tony to be some experiment, he could never hurt him like that.

Steve basically did a lot of thinking and introspection for the two days, he thought about his friendship with Tony and how different it was from his friendship with Bucky or any of the other guys. He couldn’t even think about kissing Bucky, that was like kissing his brother _urghh_ but the thought of kissing Tony was more appealing than any other person. 

It made his heart race and palms sweaty just imagining what it would be like, it would be amazing, he’d probably taste like the toffee candy that he always munched on non-stop and Steve was infinitely tempted to find out personally.

But no, he wasn’t ready. 

He had to be hundred percent sure that he wanted to have a relationship with him, Tony deserved that much.

He had also started paying close attention to the kind of people he find attractive. It was actually Sam’s advice, telling him to think about why he found those people attractive and not just because he wanted to draw them.

And he was surprised to find that thinking about making out with a random attractive man was as appealing as an attractive woman. But still, he wanted to be sure so he put those thoughts on the back burner for a while because it was taking up too much of his head space. 

But he never actually forgot about it, now that he was aware of himself, he was constantly aware of how his interactions with both men and women he found attractive were very similar. He had always chalked it up to admiration before but turns out maybe it was attraction. 

He was such an idiot, he was twenty-one for god's sake and was only just finding out he may be bisexual. His ma was probably laughing at him from heaven.  
God, he missed her so much, she would probably have something wise and comforting to say to him and he knew with all his heart that Sarah Rogers would never look at him differently just because of this.

She would hug him fiercely and tell him that it was alright, Steve glanced at the little dog shaped alarm clock sitting on his bedside table, showing it was two in the morning, it was his ma’s birthday present on his thirteenth birthday. They didn’t always have money to buy presents and Steve had treasured every gift he got. 

For the first time since Tony’s unexpected confession, Steve was feeling overwhelmed with everything that had happened in the past few days. His breath hitched as if to cry, he rubbed his eyes dry. 

He wished he could text Tony right now, even if it was some nonsensical conversation about how different metal react to different chemicals. But he refrained from texting first, barely.

Tony would text him when he was ready and Steve was determined to give him the space he had asked for. He finally fell into a fitful sleep after a few more minutes of brooding.

On Monday, Steve dragged himself to class even though he really wanted to roll into a blanket burrito and sleep the whole damn week away. 

He had spent all his weekend catching up on his assignments and working overtime at his weekend job at Phil’s restaurant to keep himself busy and not brood over The Tony Situation as he dubbed it in his head. He was sore from lifting all those boxes and cleaning up after Peter, the new waiter who was so nervous that he actually broke four plates. 

He vaguely recognized the guy from Tony’s study group which was just a bunch of genius students brainstorming about their ridiculous and frankly alarming ideas. Peter Parker was the youngest member with Bruce, Jane, Loki, Reed Richards and Charles Xavier probably encouraging his outlandish theories. 

Steve had went to their study meeting once before Peter joined because he was curious and never went again, nothing made sense and Tony spent half the time arguing with Loki and then Reed, Steve didn’t even get a word in the whole two hours.

Speaking of Tony, he still hadn’t texted or called Steve at all, not once during the weekend and this was a record for them, the longest time they’ve gone without seeing or talking to each other even if they were fighting. 

Steve was honestly terrified if this would be what his future friendship with Tony would be like. He missed him so much and he had been worried about Tony possibly drowning himself in alcohol, he was doing so well lately and Steve didn’t want to be the reason he tripped up and went back to his unhealthy coping mechanisms.

So he had texted Pepper five times over the weekend until she had exasperatedly told him Tony was fine and just on an engineering binge and politely but sternly told Steve to stop using her as a messenger and talk to Tony himself like a mature adult, the woman was terrifying sometimes.

Steve went through his morning classes morosely, even the fine art class couldn’t cheer him up. He hoped Tony would talk to him soon, he truly wanted to give him space but maybe it won’t hurt to send just one text to see if he was okay.

He was still gloomy when he went towards their usual cafeteria table after getting his lunch but perked up in an instant when he saw Tony already sitting there with Rhodey, Pepper and Bruce, laughing at something Thor said.

“If you had a tail, it would be wagging so hard right now”, a voice said from behind him and he jumped, almost dropping his lunch.

“Natasha! What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?” he exclaimed, mortified that he was so blatantly wearing his heart on his sleeves.

Nat just rolled her eyes and gestured at him to stop standing like an idiot and walk to their table. 

Steve was weirdly nervous about talking to Tony after a few days of radio silence, he was immensely relieved when Tony spotted them and exclaimed “Steve!” like he was exactly the person he wanted to see.

Steve’s heart thumped merrily in his chest, so happy that Tony was not ignoring him, beckoning him and patting the chair next to him (Steve’s usual seat).

“Thor was just telling us how Loki burned his shoes after he accidentally threw away the rare fungus Loki was growing for his experiment” Tony said excitedly as Steve set his lunch down and took his seat.

“It is truly unfortunate, he didn’t spare a single shoe. I was forced to drive barefooted to Jane’s home when he locked me out”, Thor didn’t even sound angry as he recounted the incident.

Thor and Loki were brothers from New Asgardia in Norway and their family were royalty or some big shot like that. They were still acclimating and talked as if they were in a Shakespearean drama although they were so much easier to understand now compared to their first year.

“Are you allowed to go back to your house now?” Pepper asked.

“Yes, mother heard and forced Loki to acquiesce. He will not utter a word to me yet though”

“Sounds like typical Loki behaviour” Clint chimed in catching the tail end of their gossip as he noisily arranged his chair. 

Out of their friends, Clint hated Thor’s brother the most, no one knew how it started but they were both insufferable when they were in the same room. Thor weakly defended his brother which prompted them to bicker about Loki with Tony chiming in every so often.

Sam and Bucky were the last to arrive, Bucky nudged him irritably to move a bit as he sat down, he compiled with an annoyed huff and only realised a little too late that this just brought him so much closer to Tony, so close that he could catch the perpetual coffee and metal scent that was uniquely Tony’s and their thighs were brushing. He felt electrified at the contact and fought back a blush.

Tony stole his fries like he always did without even looking at him, he was still talking to Clint, acting completely normal as if the last five days didn’t happen at all.

If it wasn’t for the way Steve felt completely changed by Tony’s confession it would seem like any other day. Tony probably sensing Steve’s mood (he always did, he just knew him too well) looked at him, intensely with a little furrow between his brows (which Steve really want to smooth out with his hands) and Steve tried not to fidget.

“Are you okay?” Tony asked quietly after a minute of staring. It was loaded in other wordless questions which was probably Tony checking if their friendship was okay.

“Yeah, are you?” Steve replied sounding assured and confident.

Tony beamed at him and nodded clearly trusting his answer and Steve’s breath caught at the sheer luminescent force of his smile. _God, he was so beautiful_. 

He didn’t even realise he was staring and tuning out his friends’ conversation and had to valiantly fight off another blush when one of them (probably Bucky) kicked him under the table.

He caught the tail end of Clint’s question which was “..will totally do it, right Steve?” and everyone else including Tony were staring at him expectantly, Sam with a knowing look while Natasha seemed deadly amused.

“Um, well, yes?” he answered, unsure what the question was. 

Clint crowed in delight and started tapping happily away on his phone while Bucky face-palmed and groaned into his hands. Steve blinked and Tony was slapping his back excitedly (the contact tingled).

“You’re totally gonna win. I’m so betting tons of money on you, like literally so much” Tony was saying while Pepper was trying to set a reasonable amount to bet for Tony clearly knowing that telling him not to bet would be a lost cause.

Bucky punched his arm lightly, “You just agreed to have an arm wrestling match with Logan” he whispered. He knew Steve too well and wasn’t fooled by the way Steve was trying very hard not to look confused at what exactly he just got himself into.

Steve groaned quietly despairing at the idiotic ideas his friends came up with but couldn’t really bring himself to be too upset at being the butt of those stupid ideas.

Tony was talking to him, Tony was smiling at him, nothing could bring his happiness down.

✪✪✪ ✪✪✪ ✪✪✪

_One week later_.

Steve was angry.

He was trying very very hard not to openly glare at the person sitting on _his_ seat at _their_ table. 

The guy, Lehnsherr or something, had been at his seat when Steve reached their table a little later than usual and he was now talking quietly to Tony who looked quite agitated, their conversation was too low for Steve to hear from his seat.

Today was supposed to be the best day, he had it all planned out and was finally going to tell Tony he wanted him to be his boyfriend. Actually, he had planned to tell him on Saturday but Tony had been busy and Steve couldn’t meet him on Sunday because he had an urgent assignment to submit on top of his weekend job. 

He then had planned to tell Tony first thing in the morning which also didn’t work out. Steve was frustrated now, how hard was it to get Tony alone to tell him about his feelings (extremely hard apparently).

Steve had come to a clear conclusion about his feelings for Tony on Friday night, by then he was completely sure he was bisexual, he had been going around in circles in his head for the whole week after Tony started talking to him again. He was understandably tired and frustrated.

He did what he, for some reason, had dreaded to do which was looking for gay porn on the internet. Steve wasn’t a virgin and he wouldn’t consider himself a prude or anything, but he had had sex only with Peggy, he had never liked having distant, emotionless sex with people he barely knew. 

He just wasn’t a one-night stand kind of fella, he needed to feel emotionally connected to someone before he truly enjoyed having sex with them so he hadn’t really bothered at all.

After browsing a bit, he found something that looked relatively normal and a lot less scripted and after watching for a few minutes he concluded that yes, he was indeed hundred and ten percent bisexual based on his physical reaction. 

He had then decided to let off a little steam along with his frustrations by jerking off. Why not, he was a perfectly healthy man in his twenties and his dick was very on board with the idea. 

He had watched the video avidly at first, curious about how things were with two men and had drifted off into his imagination after a few minutes. 

He had started slow, thinking of a random person with big hands, rougher than a girl’s, stroking him. He groaned imagining the featureless man sinking to his knees and taking Steve’s dick in his hot, very wet mouth and it was incredible.

He'd moaned imagining the wet suction of the person’s mouth and him clutching at the man’s unruly brown curls. Steve didn’t even know how it happened, one minute he was imagining a featureless man and the next Tony was the one kneeling between his legs, looking up at him with wide brown eyes and mouth stuffed full of Steve’s cock and Steve came, embarrassingly fast, harder than he had ever came in a while and he groaned quietly biting hard at his lips.

After coming down from the high of his orgasm, Steve had taken a quick shower and had felt inexplicably guilty at imagining Tony like that at first, but then realised this solved all his reservations about pursuing a relationship with Tony. 

He was very much physically attracted to Tony, that much was clear and Steve suspected that he was possibly a little in love with his best friend after two weeks of agonizing over their relationship.

He had been inordinately happy at finally solving his problem and extremely giddy thinking about being Tony’s boyfriend.

He had wanted to call Tony as soon as he finished showering but no, Tony had been so brave asking Steve to his face and not hiding behind a phone. Steve had decided he owe him the same courtesy, he would tell Tony everything in person the next day.

But Tony had been busy with his AI project the whole day, unable to meet. He had asked Steve what he wanted through text but Steve had only replied saying he will tell him later when they meet.

The next day was a Sunday and Steve couldn’t find time to meet Tony, Phil was unavailable and Steve had been put in charge of the restaurant for the whole day and he hardly had time for breaks. he couldn’t even go to the party Janet Van Dyne threw that night because he had an urgent assignment to submit.

All of his other friends including Tony had went to the party and he had grumbled and brooded about the unfairness of things for an hour before he got fully absorbed into his art assignment.

Then, he had planned to tell Tony in the morning, meeting him with his usual cup of coffee just like Tony had done before with his confession.

But Tony didn’t show up.

Instead, a very annoyed and haggard looking Pepper had found him patiently waiting for Tony near the little fountain and handed him a blueberry muffin as an apology from Tony, who apparently was extremely hungover and will be skipping his first two classes.

He also got an earful from Pepper who complained about not being Tony’s personal assistant and to stop using her for interference. Steve had sheepishly apologized for both him and Tony and gave Pepper his latte, she had seemed placated when Steve hurriedly left for his classes.

And now it was lunch and Steve had planned to talk to Tony privately but that too seemed to be ruined.

He had been a little late because Rumlow had stopped him on his way to ask some stupid questions about substituting for one of the player in the college football team, he had turned it down firmly, he hadn’t played football since high school, not properly anyway. What was Rumlow even thinking asking Steve when there were probably so many others who were interested.

Steve didn’t know what Lehnsherr was doing here and he honestly wasn’t interested in knowing but he was extremely annoyed at him for sitting in his seat next to Tony. Honestly, the audacity! No one ever sit there except him, not even Pepper who always sit at Tony’s other side, it was _his_ seat goddammit.

He really wanted to ask Lehnsherr to sit somewhere else but he didn’t want to sound like a petulant child so he kept quiet, glaring holes into his food.

Their table was subdued, not really talking about anything, then Clint loudly cleared his throat, everyone including Lehnsherr and Tony looked at him.

“So what are you doing here?” he said rudely, without any preamble pointing his plastic spoon at Lehnsherr.

Lehnsherr smiled with teeth, like a shark. _He look so much like a shark who just smelled blood in the water_ , Steve thought uncharitably.

“Well, I was just saying hello to Tony here”, he smirked.

Everyone looked to Tony who was now blushing. What the hell, why was he even blushing? Steve was suspicious now. Something was definitely up.

“Then why are you still sitting here?” that was Natasha chiming in while disinterestedly poking at her lettuce.

As much as Steve was enjoying his friends giving Lehnsherr the third degree he despaired at their complete lack of manners. He knew they were protective and very much intimidating towards new people but honestly this was just rude.

Lehnsherr though, was still smiling his shark smile, not even wavering under the weight of all their stares.

“Don’t worry Romanov, I was just talking to Tony about some _personal_ thing. It’s quite new and a pleasant surprise but Tony here is my --”

“BOYFRIEND!” Tony squeaked, “Erik is my boyfriend” he mumbled fast, completely red now and glaring at Lehnsherr who had turned back to look at Tony. 

Steve couldn’t see the guy’s expression but Tony looked like he was trying to communicate something without actually saying it. Pepper was busy choking on her orange juice while the others gawked at the two.

Then the meaning of what Tony just said finally caught up to Steve and it felt like a punch to his gut, a very unfair and painful punch that left him breathless. 

No, this can NOT be happening. _What the hell is going on, No fucking way!_ Steve was furiously chanting in his head while the others were exploding with a cacophony of questions.

“What the hell, Tones?” “Seriously?” Rhodey and Sam were asking incredulously while Thor was merrily congratulating them. Clint was asking rapid fire questions about when, where, why and how while Pepper was looking murderously at Tony. Natasha was quietly observing while Bucky was looking worriedly at Steve.

Steve couldn’t breathe, he had told only Bucky about his plans after he finally snapped and told Steve to _spit out what the fucking hell had got you so angsty or God love you Stevie, I’m gonna beat your ass_ with full Brooklyn accent that showed how seriously irritated he was and Steve had told him everything. 

It had been a great feeling, getting it off his chest and Bucky had called him an idiot but crushed him with the fiercest hug afterwards.

He felt Bucky’s hand on his knee and looked at him. Bucky tipped his head to Steve’s right hand where he was crushing his plastic spoon that was making ominous cracking sounds. He breathed out and dropped it on his plate. He wouldn’t be able to eat anything anyway.

Steve felt short of breath like he used to when he was still a weak asthmatic kid and his heart was beating wildly, pounding at his rib-cage.

“What about your boyfriend Charles?” Bruce asked, unexpectedly joining the interrogation and the others fell silent.

Lehnsherr (still looking smug with an amused glint in his eyes) decided to answer that, “Charles isn’t my boyfriend anymore and he’s completely fine with this. Right, babe?” he asked Tony

 _Babe?_ Steve repeated incredulously in his head and he wanted to scoff loudly.

“Yes, Charles is fine with it” Tony said through a forced looking smile.   
“Excuse me guys while I go talk to my _boyfriend_ privately about something” he gritted out with a strange emphasis on ‘boyfriend’. He pulled Lehnsherr up by the shirt, forcefully herding him towards the cafeteria exit.

As soon as they were out of sight, Rhodey turned to Pepper who was still glaring at the door where Tony had disappeared to.

“What the hell? Did you know?”

“It’s not- I didn’t think it was serious!” Pepper burst out indignantly.

“What? Seriously? I’ve never seen them interact” Clint said.

“I saw them together last night at Miss Van Dyne’s party” Thor cheerfully added.

And Steve just couldn’t take this anymore. He couldn’t sit here while all his closest friends talk about Tony and his new boyfriend and wheedle out all the sordid details from Pepper. 

It felt as if someone had just put his heart through a shredder and he was still reeling from shock. He stood up abruptly, his chair screeching. He couldn’t meet any of his friends’ eyes, let alone Bucky, he didn’t want to see their pity if they’ve figured out his feelings for Tony.

“I-uh, I have to go” he mumbled and bolted.

Steve didn’t even know where he was going when he ran out of the cafeteria until his feet brought him to the college track. He always did like to run to clear his head if he was feeling overwhelmed.

It was relatively empty with only a bunch of students hanging around near the tracks so he just started running, pushing his physical limits to take his mind off the pain in his chest.

He still had two more classes to attend but he didn’t feel like going, his professors would understand, he never miss classes unless he absolutely had to.  
After running for a while, Steve mind cleared a little from the shocked hurt as he evaluated the situation. 

It wasn’t like he never thought about Tony getting over him and moving on. No, he was quite aware that it was a possibility but he hadn’t wanted to dwell on it in case he lost his confidence. He knew Tony was an attractive guy (God, how he knows) and there were lots of people interested in him and not just because of the very thick wallet he came with.

Steve just hadn’t wanted to consider the possibility that he was just the same as the various people Tony hooked up with, he had always known Tony was attracted to nice shiny things and was just easily distracted and often lose his interest just as quickly too, he had thought he was a little more special than that and had hoped Tony won’t move on so immediately. 

Well, clearly, he was wrong.

And that was what hurts the most, the fact that he had built himself up to be more than those people in his head and had allowed himself to hope for something more. And now that he had realised his feelings for Tony which was so much more than just a fleeting fancy and closer to being terrifyingly in love than he had ever been, just to find out Tony had moved on and even had a boyfriend. An attractive, smart, charming boyfriend.

Maybe if Steve hadn’t wasted so much time mulling over things and wasn’t such a fucking oblivious idiot he would have had a chance to really be with Tony, he would be the boyfriend that Tony proudly tell his other friends about. He should’ve told Tony sooner and maybe that would make a difference, if he had, maybe Tony wouldn’t have tried so hard so to move on and he would still want to date Steve ( _But did he even have to try hard to move on from you?_ a vicious little voice in his head barked).

Well that didn’t matter anymore did it? 

He was too late and Tony had a boyfriend who he was obviously smitten with, seeing as he introduced him to his friends (and Steve) which he never bother to. Lehnsherr was obviously not just a one-night stand, Steve was such an idiot. He wanted to cry, he wanted to curse and punch something. He wanted the weather to get a hint and not be so fucking bright and cheery, he would love to get soaked right now, even if it was just to be dramatic.

Steve stumbled, he didn’t know how long he had been running or how fast he pushed himself to run, his legs were starting to give out so he stumbled to a stop and sat down, panting and sweating. 

He laid on his back, spread eagle with one arm blocking out the sun from his eyes. He won’t cry he told himself sternly it wasn’t like he actually lost anything, he was still friends with Tony and their friendship was as perfect as it always was. Even if Tony no longer had feelings for Steve, they were still friends, Steve still had that. 

It shouldn’t matter, _it shouldn’t_. 

That was how Bucky found him, a sweaty mess lying on the running tracks trying to block everything out.

“Oh Stevie” was all he said and sat down next to him without saying another word. They were there for a long time, Bucky a comforting presence on his side and he was so grateful for the silent comfort. 

Steve breath hitched, “I’m so fucking stupid, Buck” he burst out miserably.

“No, you’re not” Bucky replied sternly, tone broking no argument.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better” Steve huffed out bitterly.

Bucky made an indignant sound and wrenched Steve’s hand off his face, “Look at me, punk. I know you can be oblivious about things sometimes, God help me no one knows that better than I do. But that doesn’t make you fucking stupid. You’re one of the best fucking people I know and if Tony stark is enough of an idiot to pass you up then that’s on him. Don’t go bad mouthing my best friend like that, ya hear?”

Steve nodded, not even arguing how Tony hadn’t actually passed him up. He tried very hard to swallow the lump in his throat as tears welled up on his eyes. They sat there in silence again, both of them ignoring the silent tear or two that Steve brushed away from time to time.

✪✪✪ ✪✪✪ ✪✪✪

Steve hated his life.

And more than that he hated Erik Lehnsherr and really wanted to punch him in his smug handsome shark face. 

Tony had been dating him for close to two months now, he was apparently very serious and in love with Lehnsherr. Steve had mostly been fine with it, as fine as he could be while being completely jealous, hurt and trying to hide his obvious feelings for Tony. 

Things had been quite normal for a few days after Tony’s announcement in the cafeteria, Pepper had told the others that Erik and Tony had been messing around for a few days and had apparently decided to be in a relationship the night of Janet’s party. (Steve had been so close it hurts). 

Everything was as fine as it could be until the next Wednesday, Steve as usual had went to Tony’s lab to hang out and Erik had been there waiting for Tony to arrive and clearly not expecting Steve to be in tow. He may have somehow guessed about Steve’s feelings because he had obnoxiously started flirting with Tony occasionally glancing at Steve to see his reactions. _What a fucking jerk_ Steve had thought while silently fuming.

Lehnsherr had stood behind Tony, hugging him from the back while he worked, brushing aside his hair, kissing his cheeks, calling him 'babe' all the time even if all he got was an irritated huff from Tony.

Steve had been completely irritated and snapped his pencil nub a few times, then he started feeling guilty because he had no right to feel that way. He had fled from the lab early and lied about having plans with Sam.

He didn’t go to hang out with Tony in his lab after that, he had no right to feel angry about Tony and his boyfriend doing couple things in Tony’s private space.

But Steve was miserable, Tony had been hanging out with Erik’s friends more and more, sometimes even sitting with them during lunch. He hardly had time for them anymore and Steve felt neglected and despondent. He knew Tony always gave his all when something held his interest, and apparently that include relationships.

Steve really should have known.

Tony was his usual cheerful self, sending Steve random memes anytime he felt like (Steve felt an unreasonably vicious amount of pleasure at that just because it means Tony was still thinking of him from time to time).

Surprisingly, it was Natasha who complained about how much time Tony was spending away from them, Steve had kept quiet even though he keenly agreed.

“They’re working on something. Charles and Erik had a theory about mutation and it seems plausible enough that Tony wanted to research more with them” Rhodey answered.  
He and Pepper had also started hanging out with the other group from time to time.

“ _That’s_ what keeping him glued to them?” Clint asked incredulously, “I thought it was Lehnsherr’s monster dick” he added unnecessarily.  
Steve winced, he really didn’t want to think about that. 

Clint yelped as someone, most probably Natasha, kicked him under the table.

“They’re not even really dating anymore” Pepper mumbled, uncharacteristically contrite as she was usually so outspoken and fondly exasperated when it comes to Tony.

Clint snorted disbelievingly at that and didn’t even deign it with a response. Steve had to agree with Clint on this one, all evidence from the past two months pointed to the fact that Tony was clearly very much still dating Lehnsherr. And Steve was so tired, he felt strung out with all the emotions that had bombarded him ever since he realised his feelings for Tony. 

Everyone excluding Tony had noticed his thunderous mood over the past few weeks, he had snapped at people for little things and nothing truly held his interest. His art projects were lacklustre and he had no enthusiasm to fix it. 

At his weekend work, Phil had taken one look at his face and put him in storage duty indefinitely, away from interacting with customers.

He was very aware that he was acting like an asshole but he had no idea how to make himself feel better, he put more effort into being patient with his friends than he ever had to. He hadn’t written back to any of Peggy’s recent letter, he had tried of course but he just couldn’t bring himself to put down anything on paper. 

He was tired, sad and angry and Tony didn’t even seem to notice. _How could he when he hadn’t spent any time with me lately?_ He thought a little meanly.

“No matter” Thor boomed cheerfully, making Steve jump a little from his morose musings. “The vital question is: will he be attending my weekend party?”.  
Which was a good question, Steve was wondering about that too but he hadn’t had the chance to ask Tony seeing as he was very busy with his new shiny boyfriend. 

Steve winced and sighed, he really had to reel in the bitterness.

“I asked him and he said he wouldn’t miss Loki drinking everyone under the table but he had a ‘thing’ at Erik’s house first and will show up late” Clint said with exaggerated finger quotes on ‘thing’, “which clearly is a euphemism for gross kinky sex so I don’t even know why he think he’s being subtle”

This time it was Sam who slapped him on the back of his head ignoring Clint’s indignant yelp, “Why does everything have to be dirty jokes with you. Some of us are eating”. 

Pepper glanced at Steve looking a little guilty and Steve was just so tired of people sending him furtive looks every time someone mentioned Tony’s sex life. Pepper clearly knew everything, seeing as she was the one who had encouraged Tony to ask him out in the first place. She had probably figured out Steve’s feelings for Tony too and it was humiliating.

Steve just wanted everything and everyone to just go away for a while until he got over Tony. 

He wanted to laugh, it had been over two months and he still haven’t managed to do that. Evidently, Tony’s feelings for him had just been a stupid crush seeing how fast he got over him. Steve was just so tired of feeling his heart break every time he see Tony with Lehnsherr, laughing at his stupid jokes and taking all of Tony’s attention.

He decided he was going to forget everything just for a while at Thor’s weekend party, he was just going to have fun and not think about Tony or his stupid boyfriend. Bucky had been trying to get him to drink his feelings away and Steve decided he was going to do just that.

✪✪✪ ✪✪✪ ✪✪✪

Thor’s house party was, as always, wild and chaotic. It was already in full swing with music blaring when Steve and Bucky arrived. Thor greeted them with a booming laugh and a crushing hug, he immediately showed them to the kitchen where the drinks were kept. Steve didn’t waste any time, he picked his favourite brand of beer and started chugging.

“Slow down, you idiot. You’ll make yourself sick” Bucky admonished with a sigh but he was already sipping his first beer too albeit a lot slower than him, Steve decided his advice was stupid and ignored it.

He wanted to be drunk by the time Tony and Erik arrived, that way he would finally be numb from the pain of seeing them together every single time.  
He wished he could just move on as quickly, or better yet never realise he was in love with Tony but dwelling on those things was literally no help so the next best thing was getting wasted. 

He didn’t want to mingle yet so he stayed in the kitchen while Bucky went to find Natasha and their other friends. A few people came in and out but no one bothered him.

Loki came in the kitchen once and looked at Steve oddly for a full minute, Steve was weirded out and mumbled a grumpy “What?”

Loki just smirked at him and went back out, only to return a few minutes later with a bottle of something in his hand. He had a gleeful look on his face that Steve didn’t trust at all and eyed him warily as he set the bottle down in front of Steve.

“What” Steve repeated, having no patience for Loki’s notorious pranks.

“Drink this” Loki demanded.

Steve snorted, “How about no”.

“You’re trying to get drunk before Stark arrive no? I guarantee this will help”

“And why are you so generously offering me this?” Steve retorted, he didn’t even want to know how Loki had figured that out.

“I assure you Steven, it has nothing to do with generosity but curiosity, it’s a concoction of mead from New Asgard and some things I brewed myself. It will not poison you if that’s what you’re worried about, I have made Thor drink it and as you see the giant oaf is perfectly fine” Loki insisted.

Steve supposed that made sense. Loki had the same reckless curiosity that comes with being a genius and Steve had witnessed Tony and Bruce doing various experiments out of that same curiosity.

“But why are you offering _me_? Why not just give it to all these people in your house?”

Loki sighed exasperatedly and put his hands on his temple as if Steve was giving him a headache, “Because, Steven, you are ruining the festive mood with your pathetic pining and brooding and I would very much like to throw you out of the house but my brother would disapprove of that, so this” he dramatically gestured to the bottle “is the next best thing”

Steve gave a mental shrug, he could hold his alcohol pretty well and he was like seventy-five percent sure Loki won’t poison him in their own home. “Fine”, he huffed out.

“Very well” Loki said brightly and quickly fetched a shot glass from one of the various cupboards, he was overly enthusiastic and Steve was immediately suspicious again, but he dutifully downed the shot of whatever was in the bottle.

It was sweet and taste a bit like wine but also not, it tasted kind of thick which didn’t make any sense.

It was also apparently very strong as Steve immediately felt slightly dizzy from the shot but not in a bad way. It felt good, the buzz in his veins felt so much better than any kind of buzz he had gotten from hard alcohol.

“Whoa, what _is_ that?” Steve asked, a little awed.

“That, my friend, is my very special Seidr mead. You should be honoured to have tried it” Loki declared smugly.

Steve didn’t really care what it was, it was giving him a nice syrupy feeling and heartache was rapidly becoming the furthest thing he was feeling. He poured himself another shot and downed it. He felt like he was floating and a laugh bubbled out of him. Loki was looking at him with curious amused eyes as if he was studying a very interesting specimen.

“This is great” Steve said, louder than he had intended. He had two more shots before Loki declared it was enough for his ‘observation’, whatever the hell that meant and gave him a bottle of beer.  
He disappeared into the throng of people in the house and Steve decided it was high time he looked for his friends. He was feeling great, better than he had felt in weeks and he wanted to be with his friends he loved so much.

He found them all lounging in Thor’s game room/home gym away from the general crowd, Thor’s family were even more loaded than Tony’s and their house was honestly something college students shouldn’t be able to rent, let alone buy.

Sam spotted him first and called to him, he called back brightly feeling better every minute with the delightful buzz of Loki’s alcohol.

“He seems cheery” Natasha commented dryly to Bucky.

“I am!” He replied even though she wasn’t talking to him, she raised one eyebrow at him (seriously, how can everybody else do that!). “I feel great!” he declared with a wide smile.

Bucky looked concerned, “Are you sure?”

“Of course” Steve replied confidently and added “Have I told you guys how much I love you all?”  
It seemed very important that they know. It was unacceptable to think they might not be aware of how much Steve loved them.

Everyone was staring at him including Janet and Logan who were having a conversation with Pepper.

“Alright, who gave Steve drugs?” Clint asked the room.

“No one gave me drugs” Steve replied nonchalantly, “Loki gave me his special wine, Sei something, it was definitely something starting with an ‘S’” Steve said as he sprawled down on the floor next to Bucky’s feet, he was proud of himself for remembering the name of the weird drink at all. 

“Thor’s evil brother? And you just drank it?” Clint screeched.

“Yep” Steve replied, popping the ‘p’ and dismissed Clint’s indignant response.

He perched his head on Bucky’s knee, feeling very affectionate, “Buck, you are my bestest friend. I won’t even tell Nat about that brunette from your History class” he told him conspiratorially.

Clint and Sam started cackling from somewhere behind him while Bucky choked on his beer. Steve didn’t know what was so funny but he smiled, he was happy as long as his friends were happy.

“I’ll go get Thor and ask him about the drink” Pepper declared, amusement lacing her words. She was such a nice friend too, always doing things for others even though she was already plenty busy as a business studies major.

“So Steve” that was Natasha coming to sit beside him on the floor, “tell me more about this brunette from History class”

Steve gasped, horrified. How did she know? Did Bucky tell her? He glanced at Bucky whose eyes were wide and looked a little scared.

“I don’t know any brunette” Steve told Natasha trying his best to sound innocent.

“Are you sure?” Natasha asked.

She was a very scary woman and Steve didn’t want to get on her bad side so he turned to Bucky, shook his legs a little and whispered “Help me!” urgently. Bucky just glared at him without doing anything.

“Oh stop interrogating the poor boy” Janet chimed in and Steve glanced around the room. Clint was sniggering while Sam was taking a video. The others all looked amused including Logan who was perpetually grumpy.

Only Janet looked sympathetic and Steve instantly liked the woman, he didn’t know her very well, she was Tony’s friend from another high socialite family and was a fashion designing major, Steve had always thought her clothes were very beautiful and he told her so.

“Thank you Steve, you have a keen eye for design” She replied brightly.

Natasha stopped asking him questions after that and Steve was very grateful, he didn’t want to get Bucky in trouble after all. He just wished they would make their relationship exclusive already instead of dancing around the inevitable.

Everything was pleasant haze after that, Steve felt warmed, basking in his friend’s happiness and just drifted as they talked and played board games around him. 

Thor had come in once to check on Steve and told everyone it was just a different kind of alcohol that Loki was experimenting on and won’t do any harm to Steve. Bucky had been very relieved to hear that and he let his tightly coiled posture loose after that.

Steve didn’t know how much time passed before Tony finally showed up with Lehnsherr and his group of friends. His world immediately brightened and darkened at the same time, it was a complicated feeling and Steve was too relaxed to even analyse it. 

“Tony!” he exclaimed brightly on hearing the familiar cadence of Tony’s voice even before seeing him.

Tony immediately came to view and was smiling at Steve, he was so beautiful in his leather jacket and skinny jeans with wind tousled hair. Steve could only stare in wonder at how he had never noticed the fluttery feeling in his stomach every time Tony smiled at him.

“Hey there, stud muffin. Having fun?” Tony asked as he sat down on the floor next to Steve.

“It’s better now that you’re here. I missed you so much” Steve told him earnestly and Tony blinked and peered at him a little more closely. Steve tried very hard not to coo at the adorable confused look.

“Are you already drunk?” Tony finally asked.

“Uh No? Yes? Maybe” Was he drunk, he didn’t feel drunk, just languid and happy.

“Was that a multiple-choice answer where I have to pick one?” Tony looked very amused and Steve decided he liked amused Tony very much. He liked all of Tony’s moods, even when he was angry, he was like a firecracker, beautiful, passionate and infuriating. 

“Loki gave him a special wine of some sorts” Rhodey answered for him as he passed a bottle of beer to Tony.

“What?! You drank Loki’s potion of doom and you’re coherent?!” Tony turned to him with horrified eyes.

“Potion of doom?” Rhodey asked before Steve could get his mouth to work.

“He has this experiment he’s been doing with all sorts of alcohol, probably not even legal. He perfected this one a few days ago and most of us from the study group passed out after two shots. He was completely annoyed when only Thor seemed less affected and kept complaining about wanting more subjects to test it on” Tony recalled, his voice familiar and calming and Steve felt content and happy.

“How much did you have?” Tony asked, curiously looking at him.

“Uh- three? Four shots. I think” 

“Holy fuck! How are you still sitting up?” Tony sounded impressed and Steve preened and shrugged. Tony should always be impressed with him and give him all of his attention.

“Loki must be so smug right now, where is he? I want to know if he changed the formula. Bruciebear! Erik, where’s Charles?” Tony started to get up and that was so not okay, Tony should not be going anywhere else especially with that shark Erik, completely unacceptable.

Steve pulled Tony back down a little forcefully than he intended and Tony sprawled half over his lap, almost tipping his beer over.

“No!” Steve declared indignantly 

“Steve?” Tony sounded very confused and a little strangled as he looked up at Steve from his sprawled position. 

“Don’t go” Steve said firmly and he wanted to pout, Tony had been hanging out so much with other people that weren’t Steve and it was so unfair. Steve wanted their peaceful friendship back where Tony always _always_ have time to hang out with him and made him a priority. “You always leave me alone to go with the shark”, he mumbled miserably.

“O…kay? Not as coherent as I initially thought” Tony smiled indulgently and patted his chest, “Let me up gummy bear”

“No, I like you here, you live here now” Steve replied petulantly staring at Tony’s face and tony huffed out an amused laugh, his lashes were so long and beautiful, especially framing those sparkling expressive eyes, “You have pretty eyes”. 

Tony’s eyes widened at that and it was even more pretty.

Beside them Rhodey muttered “Oh my god I’m leaving” and promptly left, probably to join the others who had moved on to a game of twister.

“Thank you?” Tony sounded very doubtful.

“It’s true you know, I can never stop drawing them. It’s so fas-fasci amazing and expressive” Steve stumbled over the words a little, it was getting pretty hard to find the right words he was looking for and Tony had put down his beer and was now blushing.

“You blush so prettily too” Steve couldn’t help but blurt out and Tony’s eyes flashed with something and he clenched his fist on Steve’s chest. He let out what sounded like a frustrated sigh and started to struggle out of Steve’s hold. He didn’t know what reaction he was expecting but this was definitely not it.

“What- Tony?”

“Let me go, Steve”

“But- no I’m sorry Tony whatever I said, please-” Steve was feeling a very rapid mounting distress as Tony pulled away.

“Shhh” his mouth was covered with Tony’s hand, “Just- you don’t have to do this you know” he ran his other hand over his hair frustratedly, making it endearingly messy. With Tony’s hand on his mouth, Steve couldn’t ask what 'this' was. “It’s not even-” he was cut off by a loud cheer from their friends, they both glanced at them, Jane was doing a freakishly flexible pose with her limbs twisting and crossing with Natasha and Clint was complaining loudly while getting himself up from the floor, apparently the cheer was because of his fall. 

Tony sighed and started to get up making the panicky feeling come welling right back up inside Steve and he must’ve made a sound because Tony looked back at him with soft eyes.

“Just follow me” he ordered and helped Steve get to his feet.

Tony maneuvered him expertly through the drunk crowd even as he stumbled and walked into random people, his limbs coordination was getting seriously bad. They finally reached what Steve guessed was Loki’s lab, it was huge and lined with an alarming number of shelf full of books and several glass wares on the table at the far end, he only got to glance around briefly before Tony pulled him towards the couch with a small coffee table in front.

“Sit” he demanded and Steve obediently compiled 

“Okay Steve, I want you to listen to me carefully and not interrupt me while I talk alright?” 

Steve nodded enthusiastically, anything for Tony.

“I know these past couple of weeks haven’t be easy for you” Tony started with a very serious tone as he sat down beside Steve “I knew the possibility of making you uncomfortable by asking you out was very high, no Steve, no interruption remember? I know it was a shock to hear about my feelings but I’m dealing- have been dealing with them. You don’t have to be extra nice to me even if you feel sorry for me. I’m sorry I made our friendship awkward with my feelings and stuff when I should’ve just left it alone-”

“You didn’t-”

“No, you don’t have to do this Steve, you’ve been acting weird all the time and you’re obviously uncomfortable hanging out alone with me in the lab now, I get that, it kinda hurts but I will be fine with it soon. I’m sorry, you’re probably disgusted with the idea of being with me and it’s straining our friendship but I promise I won’t jump you or anything. You’re straight as an arrow and I totally respect-”

“But I’m not straight and I-”

“your rejection and I won’t even begin to think it’s okay to- Wait, what did you say?”

“I’m not straight, um- I’m bisexual” Steve mumbled, a little intimidated under Tony’s unnerving stare and he had gone very still, face devoid of any emotion. Steve knew there were so many things wrong with what Tony had told him but he couldn’t form a proper response, the words were all escaping his mental grasps.

“You’re not straight” Tony repeated, deadpanned and jaw a little clenched, his expression was hard to see clearly because his head was getting fuzzy and Tony was getting blurry.

“No, I’m not and uh- I didn’t want your shark, no uh what, your boyfriend-”

“You’re not straight?!” Tony shouted over what Steve was trying to say and he sounded angry, no, he sounded completely furious.

“Tony-” Steve tried to placate, he didn’t understand why Tony was so angry but he needed him to calm down.

“Don’t you _‘Tony’_ me Rogers! What is wrong with you?” He got up and okay Steve was officially very confused and distressed now.

“What- but- Tony-”

“You rejected me by telling me you were straight! You said it to my fucking face and now you’re not? What was it huh? Did you not trust the man whore Tony Stark to not back off without lying to him?!” he was shouting, gesticulating around wildly with his hands.

“No!” Steve was horrified, how did their conversation escalate like this. Tony was clearly hurt and Steve was losing him even more with every minute.

“Did you think saying ‘No’ like a normal fucking person would not be enough to fend me off? Did you think that lowly of me?! I thought I was your friend Steve, What the fuck is your reason for that?”

“I-I, Tony” he stumbled over the words swirling around messily in his head.

“You know what? I don’t fucking care anymore, this isn’t worth it. I’m done! fucking done agonizing over why you were being distant and avoiding me and now this? I’m so over this bullshit with you”

With that Tony turned to leave and Steve just witnessed his world explode over the past few minutes and Tony was leaving and he knew, he fucking knew he would lost him forever if he didn’t do something now. He hurriedly stood up to stop him from leaving, his world spun but he didn’t care, he couldn’t let Tony leave, dammit. He moved blindly towards the door where Tony was about to go out.

In his haste, he forgot all about the coffee table and he tripped, stumbled and flailed trying to balance himself but his limbs were not cooperating, he promptly fell face down on the floor with a thump. He wanted to get up but his limbs were jelly, not doing what he desperately wanted them to do. He turned on his side with difficultly and he saw Tony pause with his hands on the door knob looking back at him.

“Tony” he whimpered pathetically, feeling tears welling up at the thought of what he was about to lose.

Tony turned back to the door and Steve firmly shut his eyes, letting the tears fall, he couldn’t watch Tony walk out of his life, even just the thought was like a hot searing pain in his gut. 

Steve was too focused on the pain that he didn’t even hear the footsteps that approached him. He jerked when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he opened his eyes and inhaled sharply. Tony was there, he didn’t leave, he came back. Everything was tumbling around in his head, overwhelming him.

“Tony” He gasped out half in reverence and pain. Tony was staring at him silently, assessing him with concerned eyes.

“Idiot” he sighed heavily and started to pull Steve up in a more vertical position.

“I’m so sorry, Tony, please, please-” Steve babbled and Tony shushed him gently while he helped him back on the couch. Steve was still crying, he didn’t know if it was in relief or the lingering pain. He was laid out on the couch and Tony crouched next to him, running his hand over Steve’s hair, calming him down and it felt so nice Steve never wanted him to stop.

“I am still unbelievably angry at you, so fucking angry you have no idea” Tony started softly and Steve whined sadly, “But”, he stilled his hands and Steve waited with baited breath, “But right now you’re completely wasted on Loki’s potion of doom you can’t even walk. So, just this once I’m cutting you some slack”

Steve was so relieved, he didn’t deserve this kind and caring Tony after Steve made him go through all that just because he was an idiot who couldn’t fucking communicate, “Thank you Tony, thank you”

“Shush you, close your eyes. This is far from over. I’m expecting a very long and thorough explanation _and_ apology once you’re sober and I’m not letting you off the hook. Fat fucking chance for that. But right now, sleep. Your sad hangdog puppy eyes make me sad because I’m still pathetically gone over you and I need you to be present with all your mental faculties and all cylinders firing for this talk and-” 

Steve drifted off with the calming tone of Tony droning on about what they were going to talk about, there was something very important with what Tony was saying and his mind was trying to grab on but it slipped away before he could, he fell into a dreamless sleep.

✪✪✪ ✪✪✪ ✪✪✪

Steve woke up disoriented with a very annoying and persistent throbbing headache which only grew worse when he tried to open his eyes. He groaned in pain. What the hell happened and where was he, he couldn’t figure it out. He cautiously opened one eye, braving through the pain and took note of his unfamiliar surroundings.

He was alone, lying on a couch and fully clothed, okay that was good news. He sighed, willing his body to work with him as he tried to sit up. He got very dizzy and stayed put while the urge to throw up his insides faded slowly, he finally spot the bottle of pills and water on the small coffee table and wanted to cry in relief.

He fumbled with the pills, swallowing two and downing the water like a dying man. He felt a little better after having hydrated and once more took in his surroundings.

It looked like he was in some kind of lab, he calmly went through his mental catalogue of people with labs in their houses and decided it might be Loki’s and with a sudden hard jolt, the memories of the night before came crashing back to him in waves.

Oh my god.

 _Oh my god_.

His memories were jumbled, only because he was remembering specific things in no order whatsoever but the most prominent of them all was his interactions with Tony.

He remembered the embarrassing idiotic things he had blurted out to him, even though he knew full well Erik had been in the nearby vicinity. He might as well have just told tony he was in love with him he had been so obvious, Tony’s hurt angry face popped up in his head. 

Fuck fuck _fuck._

Oh god what had he done. He put his palms over his eyes, trying to block out the onslaught of emotions, he groaned in despair. He can fix this, he can. He had to, he can’t lose Tony over this.

Tony can hate him and be angry with him for however much time he needed but he can’t lose him, that wasn’t an option. He’d grovel and apologize a thousand times and let tony put his heart through a shredder before he let that happen.

He gingerly started to move, he had to see if his other friends were all crashing in the house like they had planned and he had to find Tony one way or another, he had to try explain himself.

“I see you’re finally up”

Steve jumped at the voice and groaned as his headache spiked with the sudden movement.

Loki was peering at him over a notebook from the open doorway, jotting down something several times, “I dare say the test was quite successful” he declared delightedly.

Steve glared at him, he wasn’t really angry with Loki. He had accepted the drink after all, knowing full well what Loki was capable of but he was still annoyed at the unbridled glee on his face at seeing Steve’s very unfortunate predicament. 

“Heh. Don’t you glower at me. Here, take this” He shoved a mug with steaming rich coffee at Steve who grunted his thanks, not really in the mood to talk to anyone.  
Loki watched him avidly, silently waiting for him to take a sip of the glorious smelling coffee and Steve took a cautious sip.

“Oh and Stark’s waiting for you in the kitchen-” Steve promptly choked on his mouthful “-and he does _not_ look happy, boy oh boy” Loki cackled as he practically skipped out of the room. The evil fucker.

Okay there was no need to panic, he wanted to talk to Tony as soon as possible anyway and have things cleared up. There was no cause for panic but why was he sweating, oh god, his heart started hammering. Steve swallowed his coffee down in two great gulps, feeling the headache alleviate some.

He was scared stupid of what tony will say but Steve Rogers had always been a stubborn mull in the face of danger, not that this was an alley fight or anything but he felt his adrenaline pumping, gearing himself up for the confrontation.  
He quickly went to the bathroom, washing his face with cold water to clear his head and started towards the kitchen on heavy feet, like a prisoner marching to the guillotine. 

He spotted Natasha’s red hair first, she was perched on the table with one foot on a chair talking quietly with someone. Steve’s breath caught when he finally saw who she was talking to, Tony was standing near the counter, disheveled and soft, looking weary and sad.  
They both stopped talking at once and whipped their heads towards him at the sounds of his approaching footsteps. 

Natasha rolled her eyes and jumped down lightly, she took the whole coffee pot and left, slamming the door shut behind her.

The silence after that was awkward and stifling, Tony wasn’t even looking at him. He was staring morosely at his coffee mug. Steve gulped and his heart hammered away in his chest, it seemed he was supposed to do all the talking then.

That was fair.

“Tony” he blurted out like an idiot, said man finally looked up at him, jutting his jaw stubbornly and his eyes were hard as they silently asked Steve to continue.

“I’m sorry, I- well I don’t really remember the specifics of what I said last night but I’m so sorry Tony. I know I hurt you, I didn’t mean to but I did”

Tony raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. Steve scrambled to explain himself more.

“And I never meant to come in between you and Erik, you have to believe me I know I have no right, he’s your boyfriend-”

“What does Erik have to do with anything?” he was interrupted by a perplexed Tony.

“I- what? Because he’s your boyfriend-”

“He’s not anymore, never really was but that’s besides the point Steve! You lied to me about being straight, explain!”

Steve had a momentary short circuit as his brain took in the new immense information. Not his boyfriend? What? 

“Steve!” He jolted, he was confused but Tony sounded properly angry now.

“I didn’t lie!” Steve said indignantly, he was still busy processing everything in his sluggish hungover head.

“Arrghh!” Tony slammed his mug down in frustration “I’m leaving” he said and stomped towards Steve who was still standing next to the door. 

“Wait! Tony wait!” He caught the shorter man’s wrist in a tight grip while Tony snarled at him struggling to get out of his hold. Why was he always putting his foot in his mouth around Tony?

“Let me go, you lying liar!”

“I’m not- Tony, just listen to me-”

And Tony bit him on his arm, _hard_. 

Steve yelped in surprise and pain while Tony slipped out of his hold, he darted towards the door but Steve was faster and tackled him down on the floor.

They wrestled, Steve trying to pin Tony down while the smaller man actively tried to punch, bite and kick any part of Steve he could reach. He struggled but he was finally able to pin both of Tony’s hand over his head, flushed and panting. Tony was still angrily trying to buck Steve off of him but it was impossible because Steve was much bigger and stronger.

“Stop” Steve panted.

Tony stubbornly struggled for a few more seconds before he finally went limp, jaw clenched and he turned his head away from Steve, apparently not even wanting to look at him.

“Just please listen to me, you can hate me however much you want afterwards but please let me finish” Tony stubbornly didn’t even acknowledge him and Steve took that as permission to start talking.

“I thought I was straight when you asked me out-” Tony snorted in disbelief, “No, I promise you Tony. I genuinely didn’t know I liked guys as well, I never thought about it. It was actually because of you that I started to realise I wasn’t quite as straight as I thought I was”

At that Tony turned to look at him, probably assessing his face for any hint of lies. Steve swallowed nervously and continued.

“You confused me that day, I-I never really thought about you that way before but you managed to turn my whole world upside down. I started analyzing my feelings towards my previous art muses and Sam helped, Bucky too. They helped me understand more about my own feelings and I- well, I wasn’t actually sure at the beginning so I didn’t tell you.” 

Steve took a calming breath and averted his eyes from the soul searching brown ones, he was about to lay out all his cards in the open and it was terrifying.

“I didn’t tell you because you’re important to me and if I was gonna pursue something with you, I wanted to be completely sure of myself. I didn’t want it to be a meaningless fuck or just me experimenting around. You’re one of my best friends and you’re too important to risk on some stupid thing like that. So I just, didn’t tell you, yet. I was going to- eventually, after I knew for sure. I was going to ask you to be my boyfriend the day you told us about your relationship with Erik-” Tony’s eyes widened in shock at that particular detail.

“I had it all planned out, I was gonna- well, it doesn’t matter anymore because I was too late and you were already with Erik, clearly over your crush on me”

“Steve…”

“After that it just never felt like the right time to bring it up, I missed my window with you and you were clearly happy with Erik and I guess it was just easier to not tell you and pull away, I’m so sorry for that. I was a coward, scared that you might ask more questions if I tell you and find out how hopelessly in love with you I am”

Tony gasped, looking speechless as Steve darted little looks at him. It was just too painful to fully look at him while he spilled his guts out like this.

“Well, I guess I did that anyway, in the most shitty way possible and I’m sorry. You don’t have to feel obligated to do anything or feel sorry for me. I’m a fucking idiot and this is all my fault-”

“Steve, wait-”

“I know you said something about Erik not being your boyfriend anymore. Even with that, I hope you know i don’t expect anything from you please-”

“Steve, listen-”

“You can hate me and not talk to me for however long you need. I completely understand and I won’t even bother you at all, I know I have no right to ask this of you but I just want to be your friend if you can please forgive me, I promise I won’t burden you with my feelings, I just don’t want you to cut me off. I won’t be able to handle that please Tony-”

Tony surged up from beneath him, Steve winced bracing himself for a headbutt or something and was completely shocked frozen when a pair of lips (Tony’s lips!!) collided with his.

Steve was too shocked to do anything but stay stock still as he felt the soft red bitten lips push firmly to his. It was a short innocent kiss but Steve could do nothing but gape as tony pulled away.

“You’re such an idiot” Tony said, sounding fond and exasperated as he struggled out of his grip that had went lax in shock, just to wind his hands around Steve’s shoulder and cling. “Steve?” 

“I-Tony” he gasped out when he finally got his mouth to work, “what-I, if this is a pity thing or because you feel obliged to-”

“Oh my god, shut up Steve! I am fucking in love with you”

Wait, what?

“What?”

“You can’t possibly think I’m over you when I look at you like you’re the fucking sun every time you’re in the room. You can’t possibly think I’m in love with Erik when you make me forget about everyone else when you’re near, you’re impossible”

“B-but he was your boyfriend! How- what-” Tony huffed out and incredulous laugh, making Steve's neck tingle with his breath.

“He was never my boyfriend. We were fuck buddies for a while, more like fuck rebound. Hah. I was sad and heartbroken because you rejected me and he was sad and heartbroken because Charles broke up with him. It was a perfect time to use each other”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said, he was being a smug jerk that day and I wanted him to go away before you came but he was having fun watching me squirm and I panicked okay?! Not my proudest moment but I panicked.

"I didn’t want you to think I was just asking you out just to blow off some steam. And I didn’t want you to think I was still pathetically pining over you while I fuck other people pretending it’s you or whatever so I panicked and just blurted that out", Tony looked a little shamefaced telling him that, "I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out, Pep and Natasha figured it out the next day but I begged Pep to cover for me”

Steve silently processed the information. It made sense but it still didn’t quell the ugly doubts and fears screaming in his head.

“But you spent so much time with him. You barely had time for us anymore and you looked so happy” his tone was petulant, still incredibly jealous over that fact.

“I-well, Charles is really smart, you know” Tony said sheepishly while Steve squinted not really seeing the correlation, “He’s smart and he and Erik had fascinating theories about genetics and mutation which is really interesting if I can incorporate the theories for my AI projects but- well the point is Charles is smart and we had a lot of things we wanted to research together”, he sighed and darted his eyes away. 

“And I guess I wanted to avoid you a little because you were being strangely distant and it hurts just to be near you so I just invested myself in the research for a well needed distraction. A win-win situation at the time”

“But you’re not sleeping with Erik anymore?” Steve tried to sound casual but was awfully off the mark.

Tony laughed, “We stopped sleeping together after the first week. We realised our fuck rebound strategy wasn’t working for either of us and he got back together with Charles a few weeks back" He sounded fond and a little exasperated, no sign of hurt or jealousy over them getting back together.

"The boyfriend rumour was just convenient for them because Charles’ dad was being an asshole about their relationship. If he thought Erik was dating me, he couldn’t threaten to cut off Charles again. Since it was me who started it all I didn’t mind so we kept up the façade” , he explained.

Steve breathed out, relief warring with cautious happiness and hope. He slumped over tony, limbs loose with the unbridled feeling of enormous relief. All the fight and caution went out of his body and he felt like a puppet with its strings cut. 

Tony made a surprised sound at suddenly having all of Steve's weight over him but hummed contentedly as he twined his legs around Steve.

“I love you” Steve breathed out.

He didn’t care if it was too early to say it or that they hadn’t even talked about being in a relationship. He loved Tony, it was an universal truth, just like the sun was a hot burning gaseous star, Steve Rogers loved Tony Stark and that was just a fact of the universe. He couldn’t _not_ say it out loud.

“I love you too, you giant idiot” 

Steve huffed out a wet laugh. He didn’t even expect Tony to say it back to him, he didn’t expect things to play out like this, he was so ready to have his heart crushed and stomped upon that the sheer relief and happiness at having _this_ , having Tony in his arms telling him he loved him back was so overwhelming it made his eyes water.

“Hey, hey” Tony said gently as he wiggled out from under him, Steve automatically turned towards him and Tony peered down at him with soft fond eyes full of love and cupped his jaw. “Are you okay?” he asked while he gently caressed Steve's cheek with his fingers.

“Yes, I- I’m so happy Tony” he choked out, feeling like an utter idiot as he tried to scrub his eyes dry.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m happy too, so fucking happy I might just spontaneously burst into a song with dancing wild animals and throw flower petals all around the room like a fucking Disney princess”

Steve burst out laughing, God, he loved this ridiculous man so much. He pulled Tony back down to him, silently asking permission to kiss him. Tony just rolled his eyes and leaned in.

Steve felt electrified at the touch, it was even more perfect than he had imagined. Now that he wasn’t caught off guard or frozen in shock, he gave as good as he got. And it was glorious, the slide of Tony’s plump lips over his and the electrified feeling as Tony darted out his tongue to lick over Steve's lips. 

He gasped a little and opened his mouth to let Tony explore as much as he wanted, he did the same with Tony’s mouth tasting coffee and _Tony_ , it was, at the same time, overwhelming but not enough.

Steve pulled him more firmly on top of him and Tony immediately got with the program and straddled him. Oh fuck, this was so much better. He didn’t even care about how long he had been lying on the hard wood floor as Tony _moved_ , shit, having Tony like this was a sensuous and heady drug Steve was rapidly becoming addicted to.

He put his hands on Tony’s waist, feeling skin as Tony's shirt had gotten bunched up a little. Tony moaned and it was such a trip to be the one making Tony sound like that. Steve was about to explore more of that beautiful smooth olive skin when he was rudely interrupted by a loud screech.

Tony abruptly pulled away and Steve wanted to protest, before he could voice his displeasure at having Tony’s lips anywhere _but_ at Steve’s mouth, someone screeched again, loudly. 

Steve turned towards the intruder with an annoyed wince, it was Clint. He was speechlessly gesturing at them on the floor, mouth opening and closing silently and then back at Natasha who was standing calmly behind him. 

“What the FUCK!” He finally found his words, “I thought you said they were talking, Tasha! Not fucking on the kitchen floor, Oh my god my poor eyes oh my god when the fuck did this happened, oh my-”

Steve tuned him out. They weren’t fucking, it was just a little bit of heavy kissing and exploring hands. They would have gotten right on the track of ‘fucking’ if they hadn’t been so rudely interrupted. 

He looked at Tony, who was silently laughing at Clint’s reaction, his shoulders shaking with his face scrunched up in pure happiness.  
_Oh god, he was so fucking gorgeous_.

“You’re gorgeous” He breathed out, unable to help himself. Tony turned his smile at him and Steve felt like he was staring at the fucking sun with the way his features light up, “You’re not so bad yourself” Tony said voice dropping an octave as he slowly looked over Steve's face and body.

“NO!” Clint screamed.

“This is like gross, watching mom and dad do the dirty or something Oh my god please stop eye-fucking each other. This is the kitchen! People eat food here, which I was just about to do before I discovered you two getting down and dirty and-” 

“What’s going on?” Bucky said from somewhere behind Clint, blearily blinking at the scene in front of him.  
He squinted at Steve and Tony who were still on the floor, Steve half-sitting up with Tony on his lap. “Oh thank fuck” he simply said and turned back towards the stairs bellowing for Sam at the top of his lungs.

Tony started to get up and Steve reluctantly let him go, they clearly weren’t going to get any privacy here.

He pushed himself off the floor and immediately turned towards Tony again, casually pulling him into a back hug (He'd wanted to do this since he saw Lehnsherr do it to Tony in the lab). He felt an immense pleasure at the feeling of rightness at having Tony in his arms like this. He fit so perfectly against him, he was the perfect size for Steve to rest his chin on Tony's head while he cuddled him from behind.

"Oh no noo, you two are totally gonna be those disgustingly cute couple who can't keep their hands off each other" Sam said in dismay as he entered the kitchen eyeing them skeptically.

"Well, I think it's sweet" Pepper chimed in from behind Sam with Rhodey and Bruce in tow.

"It's completely nauseating" Loki said, suddenly appearing beside Steve and making him jump a little.

"You shut up" Tony pointed at Loki, "This is your fault anyway. You made Steve drink your potion of doom!" his tone was gleeful instead of angry.

"This was not the anticipated outcome!" Loki declared hotly, "You two are supposed to be fighting like cats and dogs right now"

"Well, too bad for you we are in love~~" Tony singsonged and turned his head towards Steve, pulling him into a heated kiss.

Clint and Rhodey started making gagging sounds, loudly protesting the PDA. "There are children in here!" Clint exclaimed. 

"Where?" That was Thor's booming voice.

"Me! I'm the child, please make them stop" Clint begged.

"Considering your mental age is like four, that's not wrong" Natasha told him unsympathetically.

Tony grinned into the kiss and Steve was helplessly doing the same, he was so fucking happy.

"Does this mean I can stop acting like I don't know about Charles and Erik's relationship?" Bruce asked the room.

Everyone started to discuss about Erik and Charles and how they were going to repay them for the ridiculous charade they had put up. Clint complained loudly while he made breakfast for everyone. 

Tony was perched on Steve's lap, a comforting weight that made Steve thrum with happiness. It was all ridiculously domestic and happy, Steve couldn't have kept the grin off his face even if he tried.

"Do you have anything important to do today?", Tony asked him as he twined their fingers together. 

"I have to go to Phil's for my evening shift"

"Nothing else?" Tony's eyes sparkled mischievously.

"Nothing else" Steve confirmed with a grin. 

"Hmm... well, then would you like to come over and see my painting collection?" he peered up at him, everything from his tone to his expression deceptively innocent.

Steve chuckled and ducked his head to nuzzle affectionately at Tony's nose. It didn't feel awkward to be this physically affectionate with him at all, it felt like they have been doing this all their life, natural and easy.

"I don't know, I heard you have an appalling taste in art" he teased.

Tony gasped exaggeratedly in mock offense, "That is just rude, rude I tell you. I'll have you know Mr.Rogers I have _amazing_ taste in absolutely everything. You should see my boyfriend, he's an absolute piece of art"

Steve felt a pleased possessive thrill at hearing Tony call him his boyfriend, "He won't be as gorgeous as _my_ boyfriend though", Steve batted his eyes exaggeratedly.

"Well, I never!- " Tony started but was rudely interrupted by Clint who had loudly shoved a plate in front of them.

"If you two don't stop necking at the breakfast table right the fuck now, I'm gonna burn both your eggs"

"Well, gee you grouchy killjoy" Tony muttered back petulantly.

Steve rubbed Tony's arms bemusedly as he watched his friends eating and bickering with a few amused look thrown their way. 

He leaned down with his lips just shy of touching Tony's sensitive ears, "Yes, I'll come to your place and admire your art collection all day long, over and over again" He rumbled and felt extremely smug when Tony shuddered full-bodied with a tight grip on Steve's arm, squirming a little in his lap.

"I'll hold you to that", he replied with a hoarse voice clutching at Steve's bicep. 

Steve grinned, he could hardly wait for breakfast to be over so they could rush back to Tony's apartment. But he also savored the warm feeling of having everyone at one place, content and happy. 

It was their own amazing family and with his Tony in his arms loving him right back, Steve couldn't imagine anything more perfect than this.

This was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> As you may have noticed, I have literally no clue about how American colleges work and I just wrote whatever I'm familiar with. This was supposed to be a short 3k fluff crack-ish fic but evolved into this and it dragged me along screaming and kicking.
> 
> Kudos and comments are treasured forever and ever!


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